Balancing a Fast-Paced Career & Motherhood

As property developers, creatives, business owners, entrepreneurs (or whatever other word you can think of to describe what we do) the most common reason we give when asked “why did you decide to go self-employed?” is “because of our children”.

We risked everything we knew; our stable professions, our rights and benefits, our comfort zones, and sometimes even the only financial safety net we had, in order to try and provide a better life for our families, and to open up the flexibility of our work and home lives. And, whilst these decisions were made with our families best interest in mind, we often don’t realise that they (through no fault of their own) will be the thing that impacts our self-employment struggles the most.

It’s a known fact that any working mum – regardless of which industry she works in, how many days a week she works, or what she does for a living –  will take on a HUGE amount of responsibilities and roles on a day-to-day basis.

Compartmentalising your life into ‘housework’, ‘parenting’, ‘professional work’, ‘self-care’, and anything else you might have going on at that time (looking at you Christmas, illnesses, birthday parties, and summer holidays), can be an overwhelming juggle at the best of times. But, remove the stability, comfort, and routine of a normal nine-to-five job and it can get pretty stressful, pretty quickly!

Let's get real.

I want to level with you all here, and this is something I am happy to share now I’m on the other side of it. A year ago I was (looking back) struggling with a bad case of anxiety. It never felt like there were enough hours in the day, never enough childcare available (I don’t have a huge support system, so if I need childcare then it’s paid for). I felt totally overloaded and stressed – it makes me shudder when I look back on it, and I’ve made a promise to myself that I don’t want to ever go back there because it’s just not worth it.

The past two years in particular have probably been the hardest EVER on the books for parents, with a global pandemic, multiple nation-wide lockdowns, and on-off school closures thrown in to the mix. For myself, maintaining a fast moving and multi-faceted business, whilst simultaneously playing homeschool teacher, dinner lady, and mum to two little ones wasn't an easy job (as I’m sure the majority of you found out too).

If you’re struggling to balance it all, and feel as if you’re trying to spin a million different plates, it’s important to remember that you’re 100% not alone in feeling like that. I hope that by talking honestly about the reality of this life, it can offer some support and encouragement to other women that may be starting out on their self employment path, or who are just simply feeling the pressure of it all as their business grows and changes.

So, grab a coffee (if you’ve got ten minutes spare that is!) and read along, as I team up with some wonderful working mums to share our own experiences of juggling being a property developer and a mother, and open up about what’s helped us along the way.

⚡ Don't forget your 'whys'.

I mentioned at the start about the main reasons we give for going self-employed, and I think it’s really important to hold on to those choices and goals throughout. If you’re grounded in knowing why you are doing something, then when times get difficult and setbacks occur, it makes it that much easier to battle on through.

It can at times though become very easy to lose sight of those ‘whys’ and get too wrapped up in the financial stresses, workload, and in maintaining your momentum. In our goals to be good at what we do and provide a better future for our families we mustn’t overlook that our children need us NOW as well. They aren’t little for long, and for the majority of us, we also chose a life of self-employment because of how it allowed us the privilege of spending more time with them whilst they were young – it’s important that we don’t take that for granted.

Allow yourself regular ‘time-out’ days to switch off from work, and spend quality time with your family (now both kids are in school, I make sure each weekend is family-only). We ALL feel that same ‘mum-guilt’ of having to work and miss out on time with our children, but allowing yourself these intentional breaks with no work distractions can really help to ease those feelings and balance things out a little better.

⚡ Draw the line between work and family time.

Just as you would in full-time employment working away in an office, carve out your working hours for the week so that you have more of a structured routine and know when to turn ‘work-mode’ on, and turn ‘mum-mode’ OFF.

Although the flexibility of working for yourself is undoubtedly amazing, and being able to work on-the-go and enjoy spontaneous family moments sounds idyllic – trying to get important things done whilst cooking dinner, watching kids Youtube, or on the floor at bath-time, really isn’t constructive or manageable and will only lead to burn-out and stress.

If you’re working like this currently at home, I really encourage you to move away from this reactive working style of ‘if-and-when’, to a more intentional and organised way of working.

⚡ Get childcare that works for you, and ignore any mum-guilt that comes with it.

Every parent has their own opinions on what childcare is right for their family and child. So this one’s definitely more just advice to follow your gut and to do what is necessary to keep you all sane!

By working freelance or being self-employed, it’s sometimes expected that because you stay ‘at home’, you can therefore simultaneously provide all the childcare your child or children need. Let me say now, that self employment is definitely NOT the same as being a stay-at-home mum. You WILL need childcare in order to be a successful business owner. Don’t work yourself into the early hours of the morning each day in order to prove otherwise.

⚡ Make room for a dedicated work space.

Whether it’s a home office, an uncluttered dining table, or a WeWork somewhere else, having a dedicated work space during your scheduled working time is key!

I switch between my home office for important admin work where I need total concentration and silence, and my dining table for a more relaxed vibe during my consultancy calls. Giving yourself a dedicated work zone will do wonders for your focus.

⚡ Prepare for bumps in the road.

We’ve got to face the inevitable. At some point during the year (maybe even multiple times) your kids will get sick, you’ll get sick, and your partner will get sick as well. When you do, any routine you have for your business will probably go out of the window, and you’ll panic that you’ll fall behind on projects.

Being self-employed, you also won’t receive the paid sick leave you might have been entitled to if you were in full-time employment.

You obviously never know when little bumps like these are around the corner, but I think you can definitely plan ahead and prepare a contingency plan for situations like this in advance. Things you could do include:

• Having some backup scheduled content ready to go on social media or your platforms in case you have to tune out for a while
• Having a draft email written to quickly send out to your teams and clients should you have to cancel appointments or work
• Prepping a team member with the necessary skills to stand in for you should you be unavailable
• Hire a VA to support you in situations like this!
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⚡ Distribute responsibilities wherever possible.

Now this one may be difficult to achieve, due to personal circumstances and other work commitments etc., but it’s really beneficial to have a solid support system in place with your partner when you take the leap to go self-employed.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with it all, and are struggling to get everything done amidst wrangling children to bed and cooking veggie fingers, talk through what you need. If you need an evening to catch up on work, communicate it instead of letting it build-up. A partnership or marriage should be about supporting each other’s needs equally – after all, your work is just as important.

And if it’s financially feasible for you, hire a cleaner, another member of staff, or even invest in a flipping robotic hoover! If it saves you your sanity and a few extra hours in the day, it’s definitely a worthwhile investment!

⚡ Time for yourself is just as important.

You might be juggling being a successful property developer and a good mother, but you’re also a human being with needs as well. Somewhere in that crazy schedule of yours, you need to allow for some ‘me time’, a bit of self-indulgent self-care.

It might be a bubble bath, working on an exciting project for your own house, or getting your hair and nails done – an absolute must for me!

⚡ Don't forget who's watching!

Working for yourself can feel isolating at times, and without the support of a team or employer behind you, your efforts can appear to go unnoticed – especially when you’re juggling being mum and boss behind-the-scenes. But, don’t forget that you have little eyes watching you!

There are little girls who will grow up seeing their mum’s challenge ‘the norm’ and run successful bad-ass businesses, and there’ll be little boys that will see firsthand the strengths and abilities of a powerful woman.

It’s a really important job you’re doing, and you should remember that when you feel like you’re not doing enough.

👩🏿👩🏽👩🏻✌🏻⚡️

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